Love Alone is Worth the Fight...

So what can I say about my run this past Sunday?
Waking up that morning I was nervous.  I did sleep but tossed and turn and kept waking up.
There is something about doing something for the first time that just brings on the nerves.
I remember when I started singing on stage I would get these balls of nerves and the shakes.  I still get that when I am going to sing.
I like those kind of nerves.
It always reminds me that I am human.
So here we are Sunday morning and it's like 35 degrees.  The nerves came also because of the unknown.  Not even knowing how this things is going down.

All I know is this.....(this is what is going on in my head)
Our group is up next to take off.  I have my song list ready.  I have my head phones on.  The last thing Ramon tells me is that when we take off, I have to pass people on my left.  That it is going to be hard because we are in the back and most of the people are walking not running.  The last thing I do is kiss my husband.  (He stayed running behind me the whole time...he said he did not want to throw me off).

The canon is shot.
All I know is that as soon as I cross the mat, my time has started.
I hit play on my head set so my music starts.  I use my music to set my pace.  I know exactly how many songs I need to be running to for each mile.
The nerves are building.
People are walking.  People are cheering.  People are talking.
I am trying to get past all the ones walking.  It's crowded and I'm getting more nervous because all I do is think about my music and that my pace is already behind because I'm not running in the open wide.

When I finally get a clearly, I put the thoughts of being "off" my pace out of my head.
I had to because I was just making myself more nervous.
I then begin to run.
We get to the first 1mile marker and the 4th song has just started....whew!  I give Ramon a thumbs up that I was on my mark.  Actually, when the 4th song starts, I am usually hitting the 1 mile mark on the chorus of the song, so I knew I was doing a better pace.  This gave me a BIG MOTIVATIONAL PUSH!

After the 1 mile, the 2nd mile was hard.  Only because it was all climbing.  My thoughts went off, "when is this climbing going to stop?"  This worried me because I felt a little tired.  I didn't want to get off my pace either, so here goes the mind tricks again.
I did not want to walk.  My goal for this first race, DON'T WALK.  I wanted to run the entire 5K.  
I kept pushing.
The area where there was dirt and rocks made me nervous.
I did not want to trip/slip/fall.
I slowed down some, to be careful.

We hit the 2nd mile mark and I'm thinking..."please NO MORE CLIMBING".
The good thing for me is that running at home I climb 2 hills every time.
So this helped me stay focused on the climb.
After the 2nd mile mark, I can see it evening out.  No more climbing.
I just thanked God in my head!

Let me throw something here.
I added some new songs to my running playlist.
I did not have a chance to hear them.  I bought Switchfoot's new album.
I selected a few songs that I liked their titles, but did not have a chance to hear them.

So getting to the end of this run, I can see the finish line.
There is just something that happens when you see the finish line.
Your body is tired, but your mind/the visual sees the finish line and you give it all you got.
So here we go.
I have to finish this and go HARD!
Sure enough, a new song comes on my playlist...
It starts and I'm getting closer to the finish line and here is what I am hearing on my headphones as I am crossing the finish line:

"Love Alone Is Worth The Fight"

I'm trying to find where my place is 
I'm looking for my own oasis 
So close I can taste this 
The fear that love alone erases 

So I'm back to the basics 
I figure it's time I face this 
Time to take my own advice 

Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight 

And I never thought it'd come to this 
But it seems like I'm finally feeling numb to this 
The funny thing about a name is 
You forget what the reason you were playing the game is 

And it's all an illusion 
A 21st century institution 
So I'm headed down the open road unknown 

And we find what we're made of 
Through the open door 
Is it fear you're afraid of? 
What are you waiting for? 

Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight

We're only here for a season 
I'm looking for the rhyme and reason 
Why you're born, why you're leaving 
What you fear and what you believe in 

Why you're living and breathing 
Why you're fighting it and getting it even 
Let's go headed down the open road unknown 

And we find what we're made of 
Through the open door 
Is it fear you're afraid of? 
What are you waiting for? 

Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight 

Yeah, yeah, yeah 
Oh! Oh! 

Here we are, here we go 
Where the road is our own 
Hear it calling you home 
Here we are, here we go! 

Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight 
Love alone is worth the fight

I high-lighted the part that was playing on my headphones as I was crossing the finish line. 

All I can say is WOW!  This is how I know that God is with me.  He just knows what I need and when I need it!

So I'm headed down the open road unknown....

And I have found what I am made of...

Love alone is worth the fight!

All my emotions/feelings/thoughts ended with me knowing that I am so worth it!  That my family is worth it!  My dad's death is so worth it!  My clean-eating/health life-style is so worth it!

As I crossed that line I was filled with so much gratitude!

The tears streamed down my face.

The crying of shear ACCOMPLISHMENT was heard....

I hugged Ramon, crying, and telling him thank you for being by my side and how much I loved him.

What a moment in my life.

What can I say.....
I'm getting ready for the next 5K...

My goal is to do 2 more 5Ks...then...

Run a 10K.....

End the 2014 year running a half marathon!

"Love alone is worth the fight"

Thank you to Ramon, Julia, Andrew & Scott.  I love you so much and you are my everything and "you are worth the fight".

Dad, this is for you.  You are the reason I am living a life of "wanting to live"!  Dad, you will always be worth the fight!

....and Georgina Fourzan...thank you for teaching me how to live healthy.  My body would never be ready to do anything like this if it wasn't for you...i love my new life-style!

these are the pics I carry in my backpack

I had this engraved on my very first 5K medal